Story in a sentence – AFL style

I found an interesting site yesterday, One Sentence – True Stories Told in One Sentence.

It’s pretty self-explanatory really – here’s one example that took my fancy:

I don’t want him to see that I carved the word ‘FAT’ into my thigh with a razor, not because of what he’ll think of me for being a self-harmer, but because he might agree with my thigh.

My one-track mind thought it would be fun to construct a few stories-in-a-sentence for some of the great and not-so-great moments from my history of supporting the Essendon Football Club (the Bombers). Here are my early attempts:

1. Startled into action by Scotty Lucas’ surprise right-foot kick, Moorcraft soared … and soared … and soared, then came crashing down, ball in hand, for the mark of the century.

2. Enter Leon Baker, and with a baulk and a blind turn, the 1984 Grand Final was ours for the taking.

3. “One more!”, said Kernahan, but he kicked out on the full and the Bombers celebrated a lucky draw.

4. Carlton hoisted Jim Buckley into the air, thinking the game was won, but they hadn’t reckoned on Neale Daniher’s heroics in time on.

5. “I touched it!” pleaded Silvani, but no-one could touch Michael Long on that memorable day.

6. “Get some skills, Ablett!” shouted my mate Col, something he came to regret 14 goals later.

7. “I agree with you 100%” said Phil Carman, accidentally collecting the boundary umpire with his nodding head.

8. “I’m not leaving till I get a kick”, declared Rock Star, something he would come to regret when it got dark at VFL Park.

9. We wrote “Crows suck sh*t” on my car’s dusty windscreen in the AAMI Stadium carpark – and by the end of the game, they did!

10. Even if the Bombers only win three games in a season, it is permissible to be seen on TV doing a Dancing Homer impression if one of them is against Collingwood!

OK Scott, Col etc – it’s your turn now.

I’m also going to post this as a challenge to my friends on the Bombertalk forum – will let you know of any humourous contributions from over there.

Your time starts … now

I stumbled across an interesting site this morning.

OneWord is basically an ideas starter for writers. A random word is generated and you have 60 seconds to write whatever you want about that word. You can also check out the submissions from other writers who have taken the challenge.

The word I was allocated was Grace. Here is my attempt.

My mate Geoffie boy has a daughter called Grace. He is a musician and has written a fantastic song about her. It’s all about how Grace was named after her grandmother, the bravest person Geoff ever knew.

It’s harder than it looks – give it a try and let me know how you get on.

Congratulations Australia!

Congratulations to Australia, winners of the 2007 Cricket World Cup.

That makes it three World Cups in a row and an incredible 29 World Cup matches in a row without defeat.

Well done to Adam Gilchrist for his matchwinning 149, and farewell to champion bowler Glenn McGrath who retires from international cricket on a fitting note.

The rain-affected match descended into farce, finishing in virtual darkness, however this did not detract from what was a dominant performance by the world champs.

Well done, fellas, we’re proud of you.

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Ask me about Australia

One of my regular readers, Riza, is from Indonesia. I don’t know too much more about him as his blog site is written in Indonesian which is not one of the 1 (one) languages I can speak.

Riza recently expressed surprise that Australia celebrated Anzac Day.

It got me thinking that there must be thousands of people out there in the Blogosphere who are dying to ask about what it’s like in Australia.

So here’s your chance, ask away.

Lest we forget…

   Today, April 25th, is celebrated as ANZAC Day is Australia and New Zealand.

ANZAC Day is a day for us all to remember the sacrifices of those men and women who have served the country in times of war. Many of these brave people made the ultimate sacrifice. I have personally visited war cemeteries in France and Papua New Guinea, and despaired at the rows and rows of headstones, each marking the life of a young person, tragically cut short.

Ouch, this would hurt!

    This is an x-ray photo of a man with the leg of a chair embedded in his skull. The full story appeared in the The Age newspaper on Friday. Unbelievably the guy survived.

This got me thinking – what is the worst injury that you’ve ever suffered?  

First Interview

One of my assignments in Non-Fiction this year is to interview someone I don’t know. Ultimately the interview will form the basis of a feature article to be submitted not only for assessment, but for publication.

We’re getting briefed on the assignment in class today – hopefully this will spark a few ideas as to who would make a good interview target.

Even though I’m generally a pretty outgoing person (friends will have coffee spurting out of their noses at this understatement) , I have to admit I’m a little nervous about the idea of conducting a formal question and answer session with a stranger, with a tape recorded whirring away capturing every awkward moment.

Gruntled and consolate – a story using non-standard negations

It had been a rough day, so when I walked into the party I was very chalant, despite my efforts to appear gruntled and consolate.

I was furling my wieldy umbrella for the coat check when I saw her standing alone in a corner. She was a descript person, a woman in a state of total array. Her hair was kempt, her clothing shevelled, and she moved in a gainly way.   Click here to read the full story.

Mrs Eats Shoots & Leaves not so clever now…

I’ve just finished reading Eats Shoots & Leaves – The Zero Tolerance Approach to Punctuation, the best-selling book on punctuation by Lynne Truss. The author does a fantastic job in explaining the importance of the correct use of punctuation, and provides a couple of hilarious examples of the unexpected consequences of poor punctuation.

The book even comes with a Punctuation Repair Kit – a selection of peel-off stickers (apostrophes, full stops, exclamation marks etc) – which the reader is encouraged to use to correct any poorly punctuated signs that may be encountered from time to time.

What made me laugh was the introduction, with Ms Truss claiming:

‘Sticklers never read a book without a pencil in hand to correct the typographical errors.’

This may well be the case, but I would have hoped that Ms Truss or one of her fellow sticklers may have thought it appropriate to run a critical eye over her own work. Earlier on in her introduction appears the sentence:

 ‘Well, all I can say it, don’t come running to us, because we will disown you’.

Do you think she means, ‘all I can say is …’ ?