Riposte

Yesterday I wrote about the sledging I copped about my asinine movie review.

My friend Linnet suggested I should continue with the riposte I started at the end of that post. Here goes:

Dear Anonymous (if that is your real name)

Thank you for your helpful feedback on my review of Into the Wild. Asininity is one of the qualities I aim for with my reviews, so it’s encouraging to know I’m hitting the mark with my valued readers.

Unlike master wordsmiths such as David Stratton and Margaret Pomerantz, I have a day job, and write my movie reviews as a hobby. I pay for the tickets out of my own pocket and try to write up new movies shortly after their release in case they are of use to others thinking of seeing that movie.

Usually I post my reviews on the SBS Movie Show website – generally around 100 people read them over a period of time, so presumably this sort of amateur review is useful to some people. I know I find the reviews of other people useful myself.

Some of my other friends, such as Will and Emma, also write these reviews. I don’t think their reviews are asinine at all, but I’m sure with some expert guidance from yourself, they will be able to write with the required combination of stupidity and obstinacy.

Just so as I can continue to meet your demanding movie-reviewing requirements, it would be of great help if you could send a link to some of your own reviews, just so I can get some pointers and pass these on to my friends.

Thanks again

BC

PS – Go f*ck yourself

Bomb (Harvest) Alert

A few weeks ago I posted a glowing review of the documentary Bomb Harvest.

For those in Australia, ABC-TV are showing it tomorrow (Thurs 29th) at 8.35pm.

Highly recommended.

Am I asinine?

I thought my review of the new movie Into the Wild was pretty good and I was pleased that The Scene saw fit to publish it.

The Scene emailed to let me know my piece was live, so I followed the link (I still get a buzz out of seeing my own byline), only to be confronted by the following anonymous comment:

What an asinine review.

Before I got too upset, the first thing I had to do was find out what ‘asinine’ meant. (Hopefully it didn’t mean ‘someone who doesn’t know the meaning of a lot of words’; otherwise I’d have just proven my critic’s point).

Anyway, I looked it up in my Macquarie Dictionary and found out it means ‘stupid and obstinate’. Some who know me might think those words describe me perfectly, but I was struggling to work out how you could possibly write an obstinate movie review.

So I looked it up on-line and got this: devoid of good sense or judgment; “foolish remarks”; “a foolish decision”.

That makes a lot more sense.

(I was pleased that a few later commentors have flown the flag on my behalf). Check out my review and let me know what you think.

PS – I was going to respond to my critic, but only got as far as:

‘Dear Anonymous (if that is your real name)…’

10,000 hits and counting

I’m happy to say I clocked up my 10,000th page view sometime this morning.

To my regular readers – thank you for your support and especially all of your comments since my first post on 7 April, 2007 (yup, that’s 234 days). It’s always heartening to know there’s at least one person out there reading my stuff.

A special thanks to my Amazing Tiger Photos post, which has generated over 10% of my traffic. I am truly the ‘Amazing Tiger Photos’ king of the internet. As well as the being the centre of the blogisphere for forced laxative humiliation stories.

Here’s to the next 10,000 page views.

A close shave for Mitzy the Cat

Mitzy and I have never been on the best of terms.

She thinks I’m bossy and a control freak.

I think she’s aloof, and well, a bit simple.

To be honest, cats just don’t do it for me. Wakes, on the other hand, is a life-long cat fan. She loves cats. She dotes on them. And cats, in turn, trust Wakes.

So which of the two adults in our household do you think was responsible for giving Mitzy her new, unflattering haircut?

See here for more scandalous photos.

Unashamed Plug

My friend Karen from CAE has been very sneaky, setting up her own blog a few months ago but not letting me have the address – until now.

Anyway, today it was my pleasure to check out Blogday, which in Karen’s words:

… is a project to document a year in text and daily photographs taken using a mobile phone.

Why with a phone camera instead of a more sophisticated one? Because these days camera phones are so common that they offer us a unique opportunity to conveniently and unobtrusively document the things around us in a way that we have never been able to do before. They offer a solution to the loss of social history that digital photography seemed to threaten us with, by making everyone potential historians.

I also hope to show that even with relatively simple digital cameras it is possible to be creative, just like it is with simple film cameras.

The site looks great. If you’re interested in photography, or just want to see a little of Melbourne through Karen’s eyes, go and check it out.

Donkey?

Today was a pretty exciting day for Wakes and I. We went to Werribee to see our horse Tarpins run ‘live’ for the first time. Most of the other owners had taken a trip out to ‘poo town’ to watch him as well.

Unfortunately, Tarpins was disappointing. He was a bit naughty in the mounting yard before and after the race and didn’t seem to please his jockey, Ben Melham too much (especially if quick the slap Ben gave him after the race was any indication). Tarpins was out six wide for the first 300 metres and then ‘improved’ his position to ‘only’ be three wide for the rest of the race. He was second around the home turn and for a fleeting second I thought he might be a chance to salute, but he weakened quickly to finish 6th of 9 starters.

So the bookies and TAB got some of my Spring Carnival winnings back, and Wakes’ $100 free bet with IAS also came to nothing.

Still, it was a very enjoyable way to spend half a day of annual leave, basking in the sunshine, drinking the complimentary owners’ drink after the race, and meeting our co-owners. We’re hoping we may be able to get one more start out of him this preparation. If we do, we’ll get very good odds. Stay tuned punters.

I’ve loaded the rest of my crappy photos of Tarpins at Werribee if you’re interested. (Man, I need a new camera).

One fellow owner of Tarpins, who shall remain nameless (but not initial-less, “FR”), had this to say in response to today’s setback:

Do you feel like we are playing a game of Hangman and we are spelling ‘Donkey’? So far we have D-O-N (one letter for each race he doesn’t run a place). If we get to 6 runs and he hasn’t run a place, I am allowed to call him a donkey.

Very harsh.

Just sit right back and you’ll hear a tale…

My best buddy and frequent Write On! contributor Colin Gray almost came to grief last Tuesday when a family outing went horribly wrong.

Here is his account of his own personal Titanic, Portarlington style.

 

 

Just sit right back and you’ll hear a tale,
A tale of a fateful trip
That started from this tropic port,
Aboard this tiny ship…

Allow me to tell you about a sea bound journey of adventure and rescue in a small dinghy off the shores of Portarlington on Victoria’s Port Phillip Bay.

Tarpins runs again

Thursday at Werribee. Race 2 Number 8 at 1.48. The monkeys rate him a $15 shot.

Wakes and I are heading out to watch him run live for the first time. Hopefully we’ll bring him some luck.

On a roll

Some more good news – my travel article on free things to do in Melbourne was published in the Dominion newspaper (Wellington, NZ) today.

Here is a copy of the article: Take a free ride in Melbourne