A few things I learnt on the weekend.
- In Tasmania, every second car is white.
- In Tasmania, posted speed limits are just a guide. If the road is dead straight and the speed limit is 100 kmh, it’s perfectly acceptable to potter along at 70 kmh. When the limit drops to 8o kmh, just drop back to 50 kmh. Or 40 kmh if you prefer.
- A good guide is to take the speed limit and deduct 1 kmh for every year you are older than 60.
- Under no circumstance should you pull over to let faster cars past. Those hoons who want to drive at reckless speeds approaching the speed limit need to be protected from themselves.
- In order to assist with the previous point, drive in convoys of three or four cars and stick really close together; that way if a small break in traffic occurs, the hoon will have to overtake all of you in one dangerous manouvre.
- The typical convoy reads: ‘White Corolla, White Maui motorhome, red Magna; white Laser; White Mauia motorhome; Blue Corolla’. Try to keep this order. It is aesthetically pleasing and bloody hard for hoons to get past.
- Make sure you use your brake excessively as you negotiate every single 1 degree bend in the road. Just to be safe.
- Don’t worry about indicating. Or driving on your own side of the road. These considerations are over-rated and were probably invented by people on the mainland.
- The nearest petrol station is 8km past the airport. Go figure. Even Wellington has a servo at the airport.