Dear Village Idiots
I just wanted to congratulate you on your amazing forethought in selecting products with the noisiest possible wrappers for sale in your exhorbitantly priced snack bars.
The last two movies I’ve seen have been ruined by patrons ratting, rustling, crinkling and shuffling their packaging in my ear for the entire running time.
Presumably you are selling individually wrapped tic tacs inside cellophane covered mazes, then offering free boxing gloves to patrons, just to make the simple task of obtaining the next lolly that little bit more challenging.
How about a little consideration to those people who actually go to your cinemas to (heaven forbid) watch the movie?
Bring back ushers with torches, I say.