I know this drunk

My buddy Roaf over at Gaijin Tonic has posted a great piece showcasing some of the very finest in Japanese kitsch; in this case a collection of drunk old man mobile phone straps.

The sample above is known as the ‘nasty, brawling, alcoholic psychopath‘. I’ve shown this one, as some would say it is the variety of drunk that most resembles me.

Do yourself a favour and check out the other photos at Gaigin Tonic – they are classics.

Here are a few suggestions for the next series of ‘drunk old man phone straps’:

• the ‘pot laugher‘ – a drunk staring at his drink and laughing manically to himself
• the ‘train wanker‘ – a drunk who has undressed on the train and is trying to fill in the trip with a little self-love
• the ‘couch sleeper‘ – a drunk who falls asleep on your couch with his hand resting protectively on his crotch
• the ‘I love you mate‘ – a drunk with his arms around another drunk, telling him he loves him
• the ‘Khe Sahn‘ – a drunk trying to sing along to Khe Sahn and stuffing up the words
• the ‘kebab‘ – a drunk trying to eat a kebab without any success, spilling garlic sauce all over his piss-stained jeans
• the ‘Travolta‘ – a drunk stumbling around on the dance floor, trying to sneakily move in to groups of dancing chicks
• the ‘phantom‘ – the drunk who realises he’s had enough and sneaks out on his mates mid-shout to walk the 10km home alone in the rain
• the ‘Santa‘ – the drunk who keeps standing on other people’s toes

Let me know if you have any other ideas.